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 Lost [het, ch2, p1]

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Megan
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PostSubject: Lost [het, ch2, p1]   Thu Jun 30, 2011 9:05 am

Title: Lost
Rating: R (Just in case)
Pairings: Brian/OC
Genre: Romance, Drama
Summary: Violet is in a bad place, but can bumping into a stranger change that?
You never know who you're going to bump into in times of need.
“If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there.”
Disclaimer: I don't own Avenged Sad but I own the plot and characters.
Authors notes: Thought I'd start everyone off. I've already posted a few chapters of this on my mibba, but what the hell.

Index:
1 - One door closes, another opens.
2 - More than just getting to know one another.


Last edited by Megan on Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:50 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Age : 24
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PostSubject: Chapter One - One Door Closes, Another Opens.   Thu Jun 30, 2011 9:07 am

The cold wind whipped against Violet's face, and she winced in discomfort. As she walked down the busy street, she kept her head down so as not to draw attention to herself. You never know who's going to stop you when you're tear stained, bruised and bleeding. She'd left the house in a rush, and wasn't wearing nearly enough clothing, in only jeans and a thin tank top. Vi spluttered cursing as she attempted to block her thoughts. She didn't even know where she was walking anymore. "Anywhere," she mumbled to herself, answering the question in her head. She didn't really want to be in existence right now, so instead she ventured to 'anywhere'.

"Fuck!" Violet cried out and she felt a solid object collide with her, the result of not watching where she was going. Instead of getting up and scurrying away, Vi felt no need and simply sat on the pavement that she had been knocked down onto.

"Are you okay?" came a smooth voice, that was surprisingly comforting. When Violet gave no response, she felt firm hands grip onto her upper arms and pull her up. "Shit, you're bleeding, was that me?" Finally looking upwards, Vi met the worried gaze of a man who appeared to be of a similar age to her. His hazel eyes frantically flitted over her, clearly alarmed at the state of the female who he'd knocked down. It didn't take him long to decide she wasn't going to respond, and he pulled off his jacket, placing it over Violet's shoulders. "You must be freezing, come on," the dark haired man put his arm around her shoulder supportively, and led her into the nearest cafe. He pulled out a chair for Violet to sit on, and waited for her to take it before sitting opposite.

"Sorry," she muttered, biting her lip as she studied the chequered pattern that resided in the tablecloth.
The man let out a sigh of relief, "You're sorry? I knocked you over, and made you bleed."
Violet shook her head, before looking up at him. "The blood was already there, and I walked into you."

"Oh," was the only response he could conjure in reply to that. "Uh, do you want a hot drink? You could use it."

Violet smiled feebly and nodded, touched by how much this stranger cared. "I'm Violet, and you are?"

"Brian," he said, running his tattooed hand through his hair nervously.

A waitress appeared by their side, and looked Violet up and down raising her eyebrow, not containing her curiosity very well. "What do you want?" the woman asked bitterly.

"Coffee," Vi replied, ignoring the woman's rude tone.

"Make that two," smiled Brian, observing her write on the notepad and walk away before reverting his gaze to Violet. "What were you doing out there without a jumper or something?" He asked, simply curious.

Vi raised and lifted her shoulders in a shrug, "I left in a hurry," was her excuse. It was true, but not the whole truth. She examined Brian, who was wearing a short sleeved grey v-neck. His defined, muscular arms were adorned with tattoo sleeves, and his knuckles had letters marked across them. He also had a word on his chest, but only three letters were in plain sight. She couldn't deny her attraction to the man who sat before her, and allowed a smile to tinge the corner of her mouth. "I'm just going to clear myself up," notified Violet, as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom.

As Violet cleaned her face of dried tears and a small amount of blood, Brian sat tapping the table. 'What were the chances?' he thought, staring blankly at the wall ahead. He'd bumped into a gorgeous girl, who obviously thought something of him, with the way she'd been studying him. Brian wanted to take the risk, but the state she'd been in made him wary. He was so carried away, he barely noticed the waitress placing two mugs on the table in front of him and demanding payment until she snapped her fingers in his face.

"Hey, dreamy, that's £3.50," ordered the woman, holding an empty hand out. Finally realising what was going on, he reached into his pocket and pulled out some coins, handing them to the woman once he'd added them up. "Finally," grumbled the waitress as she strutted away.

"That woman deserves an award for her customer service," joked Vi as she made her way back to the table and sat down, composed. Brian smiled warmly, and allowed his eyes to graze over her. She'd applied some simple eye-liner and lipstick, and cleaned off the dried blood that had formulated over what looked like a split lip.

"Yeah," Brian chuckled, pulling a mug towards him. "Why were you bleeding, if you don't mind me asking," said the tattooed male sensitively.

Violet sighed, knowing this was coming, "I got kicked out. Literally, I suppose," she let out a rush of air as she half laughed at her own joke. "I'll survive though, I've been through worse."
Brian kept the smile on his face, despite wanting to frown, not believing she could deserve that. "Where were you going then?"

"No idea. Anywhere."

Brian screwed his eyes shut and took a deep breath before taking the leap. He opened his eyes and stared across into her emerald ones, "You're welcome to crash at mine."


Last edited by Megan on Sun Jul 03, 2011 11:42 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Lost [het, ch2, p1]   Sun Jul 03, 2011 10:06 pm

Hey, I like how this is turning out Smile.

May I just add a few constructive comments?

1. Is the story set in the US or in Britain? Because if it's in the US the currency is dollars, not pounds.

2. When writing dialogue, it should, to ease with telling who's speaking, be written as a new paragraph.

Eg. He said, "Blah blah blah, bleh, blah."

"Oh...uh...blah blah blah," she said.

Also, I know this may be just personal preference, but usually when explaining that someone said something a writer wouldn't use the term 'notified'. That's normally something someone would actually say.

Eg. "I'll notify so and so about that report'. An author wouldn't usually write:

"Blah blah blah," notified violet. But that may be just me being picky.

Oh, and the usage of the word remorse is incorrect in the context you have written it. Remorse is a term better used when talking about committing a heinous crime. The waitress was rude, not killing somebody Wink

One more thing, spaces between paragraphs would aid in making the text easier to read [as we can't indent paragraphs on forums]

Otherwise, I quite enjoyed this Smile. I'm not a huge fan of Brian centred fics, but you're doing quite well.

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Megan
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PostSubject: Re: Lost [het, ch2, p1]   Sun Jul 03, 2011 11:40 pm

I always end up setting everything in England, being English an' all.
And they are on different paragraphs, I just haven't largely spaced it Smile
Whoops, I'll go change remorse...
Thank you :3
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PostSubject: Re: Lost [het, ch2, p1]   Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:04 pm

Oh, that's what i meant >.< largely space paragraphs online because it makes it easier on the eyes. But that may also be personal preference lol. Very Happy

And you're welcome Very Happy
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PostSubject: Chapter Two - More Than Getting to Know One Another   Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:49 pm

Ah, fair enough. It looks better now, so thank you :3
_________________________________________________________________________________

Scraping was heard as Brian fumbled for the right key and scratched it against the door trying to find the keyhole. Finally finding it, the key roughly turned, and the door swung open, allowing the two characters to fall into the apartment. Violet's arms were wrapped around Brian's neck as their lips crashed against each others passionately. His hands roamed her body as she pushed him backwards, the kiss breaking momentarily as his back collided with the counter. It was quickly resumed as he pulled her legs up, and began trailing kisses gently down Vi's neck and onto her collarbone. She let out a gasp, and folded her legs around him, and hooked her feet together, snaking her arms around his toned body. Completely off of the ground now, Brian made his way to the bedroom. He leant over the bed, dropping Violet onto the mattress and following her up it to the headboard. His hands made their way back to her body as their lips reconnected, and his fingertips caught the bottom of her tank top. Brian pulled away and began slowly pulling up the material, leaning down to place his lips on her stomach. Violet shivered with delight, kicking off her flats as he continued.

"You're such a tease!" she laughed, moving her hands to his shirt and tugging it upwards.

Brian smirked, looking up at her, "That's how I do it, Vi." He kissed the bottom of her ribcage before pulling her top off completely, and helping her with his own.

"I don't even know how we got to this," Violet grinned, leaning in to his neck and biting him softly.

"You fell for my godly looks and devilish charm, obviously," purred Brian, who was unbuttoning her jeans. "As soon as I mentioned my place, you were in a frenzy," he laughed.

Vi wiggled to help him remove the tight material that encased her leg, "I think you'll find that you jumped at the opportunity of offering me a place to stay, you." Violet giggled as he ran his hands up her legs slowly. "I don't normally do this, you know," she mumbled, feeling his breath on her thighs.

"Mhm," was the only response Brian gave, who was rather caught up in the moment. He quickly hooked his fingers around her underwear and pulled them down her legs, leaving a kiss on her upper hamstring as his hands moved to his own trousers.

The next twenty minutes passed in a blur, and left both of them breathless. Brian pushed the covers away from him, and let out a deep breath, grinning as an arm was laid across him. Violet rolled onto her side and curled up against the man she'd only me a couple of hours ago. Although she was at complete bliss in the moment, she couldn't deny the fear that pricked the back of her consciousness, and moved closer to him, lying her head on his chest. "Bri?"

"Yeah?" Brian responded, moving the arm underneath Violet to pull her into him, and the other to brush her hair from her eyes.

"Can this not be a one time thing?" Vi enquired, watching his stomach rise and fall.

He couldn't help but smile, and rolled her over so she was lying on top of him. "If it was, I'd be losing out big time," Brian winked, craning his neck to place an affectionate kiss lightly on her forehead.
Violet smiled, gazing up at him. She found it strange how she'd gone from being in such a dark place not long ago, to sleeping with the hottest guy she thought she'd ever come across.
"Plus, I'm pretty sure I offered you a place to stay," mused Brian, admiring the fact that she wasn't going anywhere any time soon. "Have you got work or anything?"

Violet sighed onto his chest, and began running her finger across his bicep, tracing the tattoos. "I can't hold one down, so I work at a bar every now and then."

Brian raised an eyebrow, confused by what Vi had said. "That didn't contradict itself at all," he smiled a little.

"You're killing me here, Bri," Violet huffed, hating her job. "A strip bar. It's the only place that doesn't fire me."

Brian sighed, understanding why she was reluctant, "I don't mind, y'know," he reassured her, as she slid off of his clammy body. "Obviously means you've got more to show me," he teased, squeezing her side.

Vi rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms more tightly around the figure she lay beside. "What about you? You can't work an office with all your tattoos."

"I'm in a band," Brian stated, proud of the title. "You should come meet the guys, we're going for a drink tonight."

Violet smiled, "Sounds great."
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PostSubject: Re: Lost [het, ch2, p1]   Tue Jul 05, 2011 3:05 pm

Awwwww, that's so sweet. Haha, at her asking him about his tatts and Brian answering that he's in a band...Very Happy.

I'm liking where this is going Very Happy.

We need to get more people to read...
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Megan
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PostSubject: Re: Lost [het, ch2, p1]   Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:45 pm

Yeah, we're the only fiction readers and writers at the moment, it seems.
Still trying to get more members though Very Happy
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